I'm really into asian looking animals
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
