he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
