she looked like the before picture.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
