Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Will exercising make me less horny?
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