Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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