i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
