So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
