Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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