Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
