that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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