i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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