I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
