I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
