this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everyone is single if you try hard enough
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize