Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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