We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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