i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
