I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
