hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize