I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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