It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
