She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
