Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
