You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
