I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
