Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize