If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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