put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
