Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
