the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
