I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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