i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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