She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
