I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
