If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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