she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
