Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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