And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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