Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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