Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i barfeds in our rink
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
