I am puke
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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