If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
