): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
