That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
