I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
