I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
