I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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