He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
