Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
