i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
