i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize