you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have post one night stand depression
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
