Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
