ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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