i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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