Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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