I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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