erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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