just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
