She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
