Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
