i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
