you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
