did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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