I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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