so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
